The biggest struggle of my faith walk has been that my God is too small. This is so very dangerous. If in my own eyes, God is small, then I must loom large! But the stark reality of life is that my resources are not sufficient for this great task called life – life that is experienced in a fallen world. Put simply, my batteries are not up to the demand, which produces fear and anxiety in my soul as I ponder how I am going to make it through the many travails that life in a fallen world can bring.
I must not only know, but believe that God is such a very big God, and that He in His bigness is for me, and offers to be, all that He is to all that I need in the moment of faith.
He is El Shaddai, and He wants me to trust Him as El Shaddai.
So what does that mean? The root word in this dynamic name that God has given Himself is “shad.” Shad is the Hebrew word for the female breast. God has declared Himself to be to us, "God, the breasted One.” There is perhaps no more beautiful picture in the world than that of an infant, cuddled in the arms of its mother, nursing at her breast. Oh, my friends, this is what God wants to be to us. He wants to be our tender nurturer.
He longs to be the One that we will settle down into and
receive comfort and protection from. Isn’t that wonderful?
Please know though, that it is so much greater than even that wonderful picture. That mother, nursing her child, is the provider of nourishment to that child. We could say that she is the supplier of life to that child. Without her, that child is going to wither and die. This is what our God is desperately trying to communicate to us in this name that He has chosen for Himself.
We need Him desperately, or we will wither and die.
He wants to be our supply, He wants to be our life, He wants to provide all that He is to us.
In my own life, I must admit that He wants to be more to me than I all too often do not allow Him to be to me. This is to my demise for all that is required of me is to say "yes" to His desire. To believe that He is my tender, nurturing supply of all that I need.
Oh, Father, I do believe that you are El Shaddai. Help my unbelief, and help me to see how small I really am, that I might see how BIG and for me you really are. That I might run to You in faith, and find You as you really are!