Suicide is the counterfeit gospel: Die! Kill yourself and you will be free!
The true Gospel is "Die and you will be free". This refers of course to how we have been crucified and resurrected with Jesus.
Satan's message is similar, but destructive - and must be rejected. Further, know that those thoughts DO NOT COME FROM YOU! I Corinthians 2:16 says we have the mind of Christ".
The mind of Christ does not say 'kill yourself'. Those thoughts are the enemy's, put into your mind to destroy you.
Sadness is understandable. Jesus was described as a man of sorrows... this is a sad world! It is ok to be sad, but as we look to Christ in the midst of our sadness, we will discover Joy that operates AT THE SAME TIME as our sorrow. Christians are the only ones in the world who can have tears of sorrow streaming down their cheeks while singing praise with joy at the same time.
When we fix our eyes on our sorrow, we stay focused on the horizontal. Don't do that. Rather, go vertical: fix your eyes on Father, and discover how well He meets you in your sorrow with His peace and joy.
I know this from personal experience.
You are loved,
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